Streamyx =D The Usual What They Say

• What Do They Say When You Call There HotLine? We will assign a contracter to your place to look into the matter by tomorrow(in fact a week)."
• (if u r using external ADSL modem)"Is the light of the ADSL light blinking of off??"
• "Windows XP firewall make your slow koneksion"
• "What is the error code shown? If u using router, please try manual konek and call us again."
• "Please turn your modem upside down and try again"
• "Please unplug your network cable and turn it around and plug it back in" (Witchcraft lah, just stand up and turn around 3 times, your internet will be aaalrite!)
• "What version of Windows are you using?" (If it ain't WinXP, fuxx you, we do not support Mac, Win2k or Linux)
• "Please unplug your microfilter and plug the modem wire directly into the wall socket" (I can hear the pages flipping, she's either reading Kosmo! or from a frickin' manual, which I can also do, and Fuxx You very much, I already tried, my microfilter is brand new)
• "You must plug your SATA modem to the IDE floppy disk and put your USB monitor to the 2-socket plug. Then only can you turn on the 30-Amp power to your Acer.
• "I tak tahu..." / "Saya don't know..."
• " "Currently, we have no service distruption in malaysia" <--- a good reply when international cable breakdown. Stupid Customer service dont even know.
• " Nonit talk so much la..... Let me make report for u. U take the report number and keep quiet... Wait for technician to come( if he remembers).. Bye.... tooo..tooo..
• " Now restart your comp....
• " Uninstall and then reinstall the network driver. That didn't work for you? What you don't have your original disks? No problem, use this web site... what do you mean you have no Internet without the driver? Are you trying to question me?"
• "Please reinstall your modem"(driver)
• " I am sorry, our support does not cover that. Try calling the company that made your computer or Microsoft. (I have no idea what you are talking about and my script does not cover these sorts of things. Rather than tell you I have no talent, I am instead telling you to go somewhere else and passing the buck to them. Yet I know they also have help desks in Malaysia so I am phoning them ahead to warn them about you. You are so fuxxored.)
• "Talk talk talk... Please wait while all our staffs are engaged on line...(Stupid tmnut song plays... played over and over hundred of times.. then, line disconnected" - This happened when all the staffs went to minum kopi, lepak, talk cock ...etc watever and refused to answer the phone because they know they can't do anything other than saying "Please wait while our technical workers are currently fixing the problemss"
• "Huh ?"
• "Cannot... cannot" -TMNET customer service on speaking to your supervisor
• "Tomorrow you come lah... to tmnet center" -TMNET customer service typical panics
• An official reply via email from their customer service: "Send email with details can ? We no receive your email at all." Same email recycle until customers give up.
• "Suh... you made no payments" -on the bill you payed 3 months ago, now they're threating to block your connection
• "Oh unplug your cable lah, then you squeeze squeeze should be ok adiiiiii!!!"
• "Slow? I think you should upgrade to Slowmyx 1 Meg. How much you are paying now? Just add little bit only ma."
• "Unplug your telephone line, rub it towards your breast, let the telephone line gets high, then plug back in ur asshole. I'm 100% u can use ur internet to see BOGEL INTERNET."
• First time calling: "We need three working days to solve this problem." Call after three days: "We need three working days to solve this problem." and continue the process.
• Huh????Our connection is the fastest among the Asia...u still wan to complain.....our 1kbps speed is faster than a Porches 911...

SPM Tips?

I found this useful website that might help for Form4-5 SPM ? Click Here

Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life

Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life. Try listen it , quiet meaningful?

Joke Jokes

• Bush and Powell are sitting in a bar.
• A guy walks in and asks the barman, "Isn't that Bush and Powell?"
• The barman says, "Yep, that's them."
• So the guy walks over and says, "Hello, what are you guys doing?"
• And Bush says, "We're planning world war 3"
• And the guy says, "Really? What's going to happen?"
• And Bush says, "Well, we're going to kill 140 million Afghans this time
• and one bicycle repairman."
• And the guy exclaimed, "A bicycle repairman?!!!"
• So Bush turns to Powell and says, " See, I told you no-one would worry
• about the 140 million Afghans!" -----Edited Due To Racism-----

Substitute

Dumb teacher

Popcorn ?

Porn Registration

Have you ever thought of registering? lolzzz

Spiderman Perhaps?

The Real Spiderman Movie =D

Gangster fight haha

Obviously Alot Of You Heard Of This Video Right? Well Its Still Funny

Flirting?

• A couple were invited to a swanky masked Halloween party. The wife
• got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone.
• He, being a devoted husband, protested, but she argued and said she was
• going to take some aspirin and go to bed and there was no need for his
• good time to be spoiled by not going.
• So he took his costume and away he went. The wife, after sleeping
• soundly for about an hour, awoke without pain and as it was still
• early,decided to go to the party.
• As her husband didn't know what her costume was, she thought she
• would have some fun by watching her husband to see how he acted when she
• was not with him.
• She joined the party and soon spotted her husband in his costume,
• cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every woman he
• could and copping a little feel here and a little kiss there.
• His wife went up to him and being a rather seductive lady herself,
• he left his new partner high and dry and devoted his time to her. She
• let him go as far as he wished, naturally, since he was her husband.
• After more drinks he finally whispered a little proposition in her
• ear and she agreed, so off they went to one of the cars and had
• passionate sex in the back seat.
• Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped away and went home
• and put the costume away. She was sitting up reading when her husband
• came in,so she asked what kind of time he had.
• "Oh, the same old thing. You know I never have a good time when
• you're not there." Then she asked, "Did you dance much?"
• He replied, "I'll tell you, I never even danced one dance. When I got
• there, I met Pete, Bill Brown and some other guys, so we went into
• the spare room and played poker all evening."
• "You must have looked really silly wearing that costume playing poker
• all night!" she said with unashamed sarcasm.
• To which the husband replied, "Actually, I gave my costume to my
• Dad. Apparently he had the time of his life."

We Live In Singapura Song

This also can be considered a Short history about Singapore hahahahahahaha.Let It Load all first.

Phua Chu Kang Rapping

During 2003 , Sars was a deadly disease , singapore has made this sars rap video haha.

Jokes a Joke

• In the old wild west, there were two cowboy, Krish and Jack. One day, the two were enjoying a beer in the local bar, when a man walked into the bar with an indian's head under his arm.
• -
• The barman shakes his hand and says, "i hate indians; last week the bastards burnt my barn to the ground, assaulted my wife and killed my children." He then says, "if any man brings me the head of an indian, i'll give him one thousand dollars."
• -
• The two cowboy looked at each other and walked out of the bar to go hunting for an indian. They were walking around for a while when suddenly they saw one; Jack threw a rock which hit the indian right on the head.
• The indian fell off his horse, but landed seventy feet down a river. The two cowboy made their way down the river where Krish pulled out a knife to claim their trophy.
• -
• Suddenly, Jack said, "Krish, take a look at this."
• Krish replied, "not now, i'm busy."
• -
• Jack tugged him on the shoulder and says, "i really think you should look at this."
• -
• Krish said, "look, cant you see i'm busy?. There's a thousand dollars in my hand!!."
• -
• But Jack keep on convincing him. "Please, Krish, take a look at this."
• -
• So Krish looked up and saw that standing at the top of the cliff were five thousand red indians.
• -
• Krish just shook his head and said, "oh . . . My . . . God . . .. We're going to be millionaires!"

Holy Water

• There were three nun, they all told the priest that they were going to do one sin each. So the priest says ok, do your sins, come back, and I'll bless you. So, they went to do their sins and came back to get blessed.
• -
• The priest asked the first one who was laughing what her sin was.
• -
• She said, "I had sex with a guy."
• -
• The priest said ok, blessed her and said go drink some holy water. So she did!
• -
• The next one was laughing harder, and the priest asked her what her sin was.
• -
• She said, "I got in a fight with another nun."
• -
• So he says ok, blessed her and told her to go drink some holy water. So she did!
• -
• The priest asked the last one who was laughing even harder what she did.
• -
• And as she was laughing she said, "I pissed in the holy water!"

Death Note

One Day, a guy name Shaun Dhenesh was walking to a nearby supermarket.On the way there he was shocked to see something drop down out of no where.He then picked it up and he found a notebook named Death Note. He was so happy to find that book that he ran back home and locked the door.After that he happily opened the book and memorised the instruction.To prevent anyone from accidently taking his book , he proudly write his name down the Death Note Book so that people wont mistaken take his book. Yeah then he died 40 seconds after that.

• -
• -
• -
• Shinigami:SHIT!!! i should pick a better person next time

Bus Driver

• A little kid walks into a city bus and sits right behind the driver and starts yelling, ''If my dad was a bull and my mom a cow I'd be a little bull.''
• -
• The driver starts getting mad at the noisy kid, who continues with, ''If my dad was an elephant and my mom a girl elephant I would be a little elephant.''
• -
• The kid goes on with several animals until the bus driver gets angry and yells at the kid, ''What if your dad was a drunk and your mom was a prostitute?''
• -
• The kid smiles and says, ''I would be a bus driver!''

A Talk With A Clown

• Had a chat with a clown,when he was making balloon for kids.
• -
• Me:Hi
• Clown:Hi
• Me:Where did you get those big red shoes?special order one?
• Clown: No lar i dint buy one
• Me:Then how u get it?
• Clown:Dehh!!that day me and ronald mcdonald had a fight mah,we bet who can fight better , then i won , he no money to pay so i stole his shoes lor.
• Me:oh i see @_@''

Kamikaze

• Wood joined the suicide bomber squad,
• so when he is given a mission to
• suicide in the enemies camp. His
• leader supply him a lot of weapons and
• bombs stacked to his body and mobile
• for communications.
• He lands up in the enemy's camp,
• called his boss: Sir, there are 2
• enemies soldier, can I suicide now?
• -
• Leader: No, not for two, wait till you
• see more soldiers.
• -
• Wood: Sir now there are 25 can I do
• it now?
• -
• Boss: Wait for more.
• -
• Wood: Sir, now I am in a midst of 150
• soldiers, can I suicide now?
• -
• Boss: Yes, go ahead, you will be a
• martyr, don't worry about your family,
• we will look after.
• -
• Wood pulls out his knife..
• -
• -
• -
• -
• -
• -
• -
• -
• -
• -
• -
• -
• ..and stabs himself in the chest

My God

• Four Catholic ladies are having coffee together,
• discussing how important their children are.
• The first one tells her friends, "My son is a priest.
• When he walks into a room, everyone calls him
• 'Father'."
• The second Catholic woman chirps, "Well, my son is a
• bishop. Whenever he walks into a room, people say,
• 'Your Grace'."
• The third Catholic woman says smugly, "Well, not to
• put you down, but my son is a cardinal. Whenever he
• walks into a room, people say 'Your Eminence'."
• The fourth Catholic woman sips her coffee in silence.
• The first three women give her this subtle "Well...?"
• She replies, "My son is a gorgeous, 6' 2", hard bodied,
• well hung, male stripper. Whenever he walks into a
• room, women say, "My God..."

What Will You Bring In Space?

• Got 3 person will go to space with the 1st Malaysia's rocket,3 of them are taking different things to space:
• 1.He brought lots of Candy that can last for 3 years.
• 2.He took a beautiful girl with him.
• 3.He brought many cigar and tobacco with him that can last for 3 years.
• After 3 years when they are back the reporter ask them what are there feelings:
• 1.I'm sad cause i am diabetic now.
• 2.I'm happy cause I get a baby boy.
• 3.WHAT THE SHIT...I forgot to take a lighter to space.